I’m excited about the new trend towards more and more books, articles, and conferences on brain health and ageing. People seem to be increasingly aware of, and interested in, the importance of sleep and strength training, cognitive stimulation, and so on. And I’m often asked how our Vibrant to 100 book will be different from the other books that are out there.
Vibrant is different
The first and most obvious difference is that our book will have a lot more in the way of visuals—there are many illustrations and teaching graphics. As a doctor, I often find myself reaching for pen and paper and sketching out something, in order to help my patient better understand their condition or options for management.
Now, as an author, my creative process still very much involves working out ideas by drawing diagrams or creating graphics first, before sitting down to put those ideas into text.
The second, and more important difference, is that while Vibrant to 100 will include the WHAT part of brain healthy habits, we’re also sharing coaching tips on the HOW part of locking in those habits. And that’s because we mostly already KNOW what’s good for us, but it’s not always so easy to DO what we’re supposed to do.
According to a YouGov March 2024 survey, 38% of Americans made New Year’s resolutions. 20% resolved to exercise more, 16% to eat healthier, and 17% to improve physical health. But statistically speaking, more than two-thirds of us will mostly (or entirely) give up on those resolutions.
Unfortunately, most of us will experience a cycle of defeat when it comes to health habits. You start out all excited about going to a new gym, but then, as the novelty wears off, you end up missing a session here and there. And before you know it, you aren’t going at all any more. You end up feeling frustrated and disappointed with yourself, and confused about why this keeps happening over and over again.
What gets in the way
If habit change were easy, there presumably would not be volumes of research and literature on the subject.
The reality is that most of us experience setbacks despite our best intentions—which makes total sense. Life gets in the way: we run into time constraints, work demands, and other people need our attention—so before we know it, our self-care gets shoved aside.
Sometimes habits fail to take root because of new demands or distractions. But quite often, it’s simply because our brains have a tendency to want to fall back on old habits. And that makes sense, because our brains are literally wired to automate habits in order to free up our higher brain functions.
Habits are so powerful that an estimated half of what we do every day is driven by habit, and for some jobs, it can be up to 90%. In fact, we are often not even aware that habitual patterns are running in the background of our lives. For instance, when you have a glass of wine with dinner, are you really making a choice based on preference, or has pouring the wine simply become a habit?
It’s not always so easy to do what we’re supposed to do
Of course, when we first learn to drive, it takes some repetition to get into a practiced routine. But other habits form much more quickly and easily—like scrolling on social media when you’re feeling bored. Commercial interests have become incredibly adept at reinforcing habit loops that are fueled by dopamine. Tech companies are good at getting us to spend more and more time on screens, while food science has evolved “bliss point” technologies that get us consuming more and more.
So when we want to establish a new habit—like going to the gym—it can feel like trying to shoehorn a tiny plant into a patch of soil in the jungle that’s already overgrown with layers and generations of old habits. It often takes quite a lot more effort than we realize to nurture and foster a new habit so that it can be protected (and eventually thrive) within the jungle of existing habits.
Old habits are so familiar that they can represent a kind of security blanket for our primitive brains. That security blanket (or comfort zone) creates both friction and even inertia that can keep us stuck doing what we're used to doing. It’s easier to default to being in the comfort zone of our habits. And this doesn’t just apply to us as individuals but also as families across generations—and even across cultures.
It’s also worth noting that sometimes just because the comfort zone feels familiar and secure, we often aren’t actually comfortable being stuck there.
Like, if you happen to be a member of the “Clean Plate Society,” it can be very easy to get too full at mealtimes, leading to embarrassment and maybe even guilt, as you surreptitiously loosen your jeans yet again. Cleaning your plate exemplifies the kind of habit that we learned as kids. These habits are clearly no longer relevant, and can actually even be harmful to us as adults.
Self-Coaching Mind Skills
If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you may have read about self coaching tools (like the CTFAR Model) and Mind Mastery. I’m a big fan of DIY self-empowerment work, as a robust approach to learning about ourselves and experiencing personal growth.
Commercial interests are adept at honing in on reinforcing habit loops
In writing Vibrant to 100, Emma and I have set ourselves the task of developing and teaching evidence-based self-coaching skills that are simple and accessible. The Self-Coaching Mind Skills are primarily oriented towards establishing and maintaining brain-healthy lifestyles and stress reduction. And they also apply to many other domains in life.
The three primary sets of skills include Mindset Dexterity, Feelings Fluency, and Rewiring Habits.
Mindset Dexterity allows us to stretch our ideas and beliefs. This technique is based on Dr. Carol Dweck’s research into growth and fixed mindsets, and on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques.
We begin by developing an awareness of the difference between incontrovertible facts and thoughts. For example, “It’s 6 o’clock.” is a fact. On the other hand, “It’s too late for me to go to the gym today,” would be your thought or opinion—not a fact.
The next step involves exploring what other thoughts may be in the mix—like, “I’m too tired to exercise today.” or “I don’t have time to work out.” Such thoughts typically generate feelings that may include anxiety, embarrassment, or frustration. All of these feelings of discomfort may then contribute to the friction that stops you from sticking to your goal of exercising.
Mindset Dexterity then stretches us, by taking a step back to remind ourselves of what we wanted to accomplish when we joined the gym in the first place.
This allows us to consider our options. We are free to choose to join a class or meet a buddy to keep us accountable to show up. Or, we may need to consider if perhaps the gym just isn’t our thing.
Old habits can represent a kind of security blanket for our primitive brains
Feelings Fluency helps us build grit and resilience by moving us through the inevitable emotional discomfort. These skills are primarily based on research by Angela Duckworth, an American psychologist, and self-compassion techniques developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, author and co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.
For example, we may experience some anxiety in going to the gym, because we feel awkward about not knowing how to operate the treadmill machine. In self-coaching, we could start by acknowledging that anxiety and awkwardness are uncomfortable, and maybe even to sense where we are feeling that discomfort in our bodies.
We would remind ourselves that these feelings are normal for most people who are trying out new things. And to be aware that feelings are caused by transient neuroendocrine signals that will dissipate.
As a way to “control” our feelings, most of us were taught in early childhood the habit of ignoring or disconnecting from our emotions—so we didn’t learn that there could be healthier ways of managing that energy. And when that emotional energy becomes too much, it feels scary and out of control or it manifests in physical symptoms—or both.
Managing emotions with kindness and compassion can feel like a kind of superpower, especially if you’ve ever struggled to “control your feelings.”
Rewiring Habits builds new neural connections, by establishing and strengthening sustainable habit patterns. Based on research into self-directed neuroplasticity, these skills help us to identify our existing habit loops. We learn to discern the cues, cravings, responses, and rewards that are causing unhelpful habits to persist, while we intentionally build support for our new (desired) habits.
This technique typically involves a series of “n-of-1” experiments based on what has or hasn’t been working. (N-of-1 experiments are where a research experiment is conducted on just one person—in this case, you are both the subject and the scientist.) For example, you may note that you weren’t able to go to the gym on Friday, because you forgot to pack your gym shoes. Rather than choosing to blame yourself for not being perfect, you could start stashing your gym shoes in the car.
There are no wrong ways to conduct “n-of-1” experiments, because when we have a growth mindset, we see mistakes and failures as opportunities for growth. And we learn to trust ourselves by creating a safe relationship with our inner coach who accepts us radically, warts and all.
I think of Self-Coaching Mind Skills as being exercises for the mind. I love the idea of making new neural connections by allowing ourselves to be curious. It takes courage to try new things, and the truth is that courage feels scary.
Personal growth requires us to learn by trusting and supporting ourselves to take baby steps beyond our comfort zone. And learning to create safety for ourselves in trying new things is an excellent habit in itself.
Because once we build the self-assurance to move beyond our comfort zones, there’s nothing we can’t do.
Dr Em coaching tips
Grab a piece of paper and brainstorm all the moves that you’d like to be making to improve your brain care. Now circle the top three highest impact items on the list.
On a scale of 0 to 10, score the impact of each move. Then, score the level of difficulty you’d anticipate in terms of taking on the challenge of doing each.
Take the move with the highest impact and the lowest level of difficulty. See if you can come up with an “n-of-1” experiment for yourself that represents a 2% tiny step in the direction of actually doing it. Rinse and repeat.
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